Connections
by Nike-Roma
Summary: The Cullens did not leave Forks after Bella's disastrous birthday; Jasper did. Heading south to once again join ranks with an army he never fathomed still existed, Jasper is thrown into a war against his past and even against his own family. JasperxAlice
1. Risk

Chapter one: Risk

**Jasper**

Her blood fell so slowly to the floor it felt as though gravity wasn't functioning. The small, red drop glistened in the light of the scented candles burning to Bella's right. The cut that wounded her finger whispered sweet melodies to me. It called my name. It was for me. And I lunged. I didn't even see Edward intervene. I was so focused on sinking my teeth into Bella's sweet neck. Next thing I knew, my body was submerged in the piano and Emmett had a grip so tightly on my arm it felt like my bones were breaking under his fingertips.

The whole room sung of blood. Bella's blood. I could almost taste the scent in my mouth. I twisted and turned in Emmett's grip and now Rosalie held me as well. I was raging with such passion that I forgot who I was. And for a moment, just a moment, I was someone I hadn't been in years.

Carlisle had rushed Bella out of the room, her blood that I wanted so desperately running out of a large gash just above her elbow. When Bella was out of harm's way, I wrenched my body out of Emmett's strong grip, an audible gasp coming from Rosalie as her grip was also broken. And I ran.

Where I thought I was going, I didn't know. It wasn't after Bella so the entire group didn't find it necessary to follow. Except for Emmett, of course. One would think it would be Alice but she knew me better than that. She would give me time and space and only when I had regained my composure would she approach me. Her soft hands would stroke my face and her golden eyes would sparkle like topaz in the sun. But Emmett was all about confrontation and there wasn't any way I was leaving without speaking with him.

"Jasper!" Emmett shouted as he dashed after me. "Jasper, wait."

"Leave me alone, Emmett," I warned. The trees and ground and bushes swirled together into a wonderland of brown and amber as I raced with speed that could match a bullet train. I didn't want to talk to Emmett. I had almost killed the woman Edward considered his soul mate. I wanted to run away and burry my head so far deep into the sands of a distant beach that no one would ever be able to find me. I wanted to disappear. But Emmett was hot on my heels as he tried again to slow me down.

"Jasper, please," Emmett begged. "Just talk to me. Please."

Emmett would have followed me to the end of the world and since I didn't know where I was going anyway I came to a halt at Emmett's request. Emmett ran past me, and almost into me, surprised that I had actually stopped. Had we been humans, the both of us would be breathing so hard our lungs would have burst. Instead we both stood motionless, like statues in a museum.

"Jasper," Emmett breathed. "You can't be angry with yourself. It was a mistake-"

"A mistake that almost cost the woman of Edward's dreams her life," I said angrily.

"Well…yeah. But we stopped you. That didn't happen."

"You're not always going to be there to stop me," I reminded him, a sadness filling my voice that I couldn't control.

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there, Jazz. But you should come back with me. We'll talk to Edward. We will figure it out. If you run off, Alice will be worried."

"Alice will understand," I said and I knew I was right. "I need to be alone for a while, Emmett. This is my burden. I appreciate that you are concerned for me but the best thing for me right now is to be on my own."

I let my powers work for me. Anger at myself was raging inside my chest but I let out a wave of calmness, like a soft mist, and I knew the soothing emotions would encourage Emmett to give in to my request. I saw Emmett's muscles in his jaw relax and his fingers fell from the fist he had at his side. Emmett shook his head and gave me a look he sometimes gave to Edward when he knew his mind was being read.

"You're using your voodoo on me," Emmett said with a smirk. "It's been too long, Jazz. I know how that works now. But…I guess I understand. We'll be waiting for you." Emmett fell silent. He stood momentarily in front of me and exchanged a sympathetic look before disappearing into the darkness of the woods.

For the first time in days I was alone. The hillside was a river of orange and yellow and red. Green leaves that usually decorated the Washington wilderness were now a season past as they began to fall gently to the ground. The sky was bright blue but patches of full, white clouds blew gently across the horizon. The sun would occasionally peak through the white wisps and my skin would sparkle like a thousand diamonds in the rays of light. I wandered my way to the western coast, far up the shore and away from La Push territory. The beach was deserted. The waves that crashed along the shore were cold and soon a thick curtain of ice and snow would silence the roaring sea. I had grown up in the heat of the south, where water melted away into the air the instant it touched the ground. The ocean was something foreign to me but something I had always admired. The sea was mindless but powerful and had no cares in the world but the steady rhythm of itself.

My hair blew across my face as I stared out across the endless Pacific. I felt the warmth of the sun fading fast from my face as I watched the first moments of the sunset begin. Sooner or later I would have to face my family and though I knew they would welcome me back as though nothing had happened, I dreaded the short trip back to Forks. But I couldn't stand here at the edge of the world forever and hide; I had to go back.

It was dusk when I turned my face away from sea. The sky was now purple and blue and only a faint light lingered on the horizon. The forest was dark as I ran through the hillside and as I made my way through the trees and branches I could tell I was not alone. The scent and shadows were foreign to the land but somehow familiar to me. I stopped immediately, dirt and stones flying out from my feet as I skidded to a halt next to a huge Western Hemlock. Whatever was following me had stopped as well for the forest was silent. Only the flap of a little brown bat's wings could be heard and the screech of an owl far in the distance. I groped the darkness for life, as I stood motionless.

"Show yourself," I commanded. For a moment there was nothing other then my own breath but as I focused my eyes I saw a shadow creep out from behind the brush. I felt my body stiffen and my blood run cold through my veins. I knew the face. I recognized him the instant my eyes met his. But it couldn't be.

"Hello Jasper." His words were a soft slur, a southern drawl. Not my south but the south of Georgia, the old Georgia. He stood tall with dark, thick curls on his head and his eyes were red like the blood that had spilled from Bella's arm. I had remembered him telling me that his blood was Greek but so many generations in the deep south had truly christened him a southern. His real name was Raleigh, a good English name. But when he stood beside me in 1864 the newborns used to call him "The Hawk". It was Raleigh that swooped into the circles of newborns and chose the best, collected the few that were granted life. And those that weren't hand chosen were disposed of by none other then myself. What a team we had once made.

I found myself crouching slightly as my hands curled into tight fists. The initial surprise of Raleigh's presence in the woods of Forks had distracted me. I had forgotten who stood before me, who stood only miles from my family and from human beings. Raleigh immediately observed my stance but his body posture remained still as a soft chuckle escaped his lips.

"None of that now, Jasper. I see you after all these years and I don't even get a proper greeting? Seems to me the north has worn down your manners, boy."

"We didn't exactly leave on proper terms," I reminded him. "What is it that you want?"

"I have a message for you, Jasper Whitlock."

"A message from who?" I asked but there was no need. I knew from whom the message came. Most of my body wanted to turn away and cover my ears and send him away. But there was some small shard, some small sliver of my being that eagerly yearned for this words. Her words.

"You know who. It was quiet for a while after you left but it's not quiet anymore. The south's alive again. It's like old times."

"This is the 21st century, Raleigh. Things are different," I interrupted.

"Not so different," Raleigh said as though he had some hidden wisdom that I lacked. "The technology these days only makes it easier. We've been waiting all these long years and the time has finally come. You and me, Jasper. Just as it was."

I shuddered at his words as I felt my thoughts dip into utter disbelief. "You aren't trying to tell me that you're recreating a southern vampire army…"

"That's exactly what I'm trying to tell you. Well…not me, of course. I'm just the recruiter. But I don't need to remind you who the boss is, do I?"

"Maria," I whispered, as though speaking her name would somehow bring her to life in front of me. A smile that suited a snake slithered its way across Raleigh's face and suddenly the crescent-shaped scars on my arms seemed to glow as memories of slaughter and blood and southern warfare shone like stars in my mind. For years I had tried to cover up my memories of the south and with only a few words the entirety of my history resurfaced.

It should have been easy. I knew what he wanted. He was here to recruit. Why else would he have tracked me down? I should have told him he was insane and sent him off, him and Maria and the rest of my southern past. But somehow Raleigh held me to my spot and I stared him down as though my eyes could destroy him and the news he brought with.

"You know why I'm here, Jasper."

"I do. And you can leave without me…as soon as possible, please."

Raleigh shook his head with that same sickly smile he frequently wore. "What's your reason for staying, anyway?"

I felt my chest tighten as the anger I had calmed earlier rumbled through my body. I narrowed my eyes as I spoke. "It's been over 100 years since I last saw you, Raleigh. You don't know me anymore. Things have changed; I've changed."

"And are you happy? Is this 'lifestyle' really any better? It's torment for you. You weren't meant to drink off of bear or moose like some kind of lowlife beast-"

"How do you know this?" I demanded from him. "How do you know about my life or how hard or easy it has been for me?"

"I have my ways," he answered and his tone was dark and serious and his smile faded away like the sun. I suddenly realized we were standing in the dark, the deep dark of the woods. The moon was low in the sky and it was full and yellow and looked too heavy for the horizon. The moon was only visible through a clearing in the high canopy, beautiful Pacific Madrone trees and Western Hemlocks almost completely blocking the sky. Stars were surely twinkling high above Raleigh and I but I couldn't seem them.

"Sheep don't eat wolves, Jasper," Raleigh stated. "We are what we are. You're fooling yourself if you think any differently."

A long, panicked howl ripped through the night and Raleigh turned his head in the direction of the sound. It was ominous, a warning. The wolves. I scowled in their general direction. The scent of Raleigh had traveled across the border, although currently where we stood was within my family's territory. Nevertheless, I could almost hear the soft padding of paws against the dirt as the wolves drew closer to the boundary line.

"You should leave," I warned. Raleigh had most likely never seen a thing such as what Jacob was but somehow he knew it was time to go.

"Ask yourself if you're really happy here," Raleigh said. "Did you make the right choice?"

"Yes," I answered, almost growling as Raleigh attempted to patronize me.

"You risk the safety of others. You risk the exposure of your family. You suppress who you are and for what? For the taste of wild bear blood? But you're right. You've made the right decision-"

"Get. Out!" I snarled. My body was tense, rock solid like one of the cliffs that decorated the beaches of La Push. I no longer had the upper hand on my emotions. Raleigh was beginning to get the best of me and I could no longer hide whatever ferocity was boiling in my veins. Raleigh's blood was older but mine was stronger. He had been the judge of lives but I was the one who had taken them. He showed no weakness but the silence he kept reeked of fear and anxiety. But my former partner in crime had already accomplished what he had come to Forks to do. His words were tumbling through my head, doubt was pouring through the highways of my veins. Regardless of how far he ran, whether it was back to the south or to the outer most corners of this known universe, his words would remain.

"You know where to find us if you ever change your mind. You take care now, Jasper," Raleigh almost whispered and like the brisk autumn wind, he disappeared into darkness. The howling was now unbearably loud. Four, five, who knows how many wolves were charging along the border. Raleigh had undoubtedly crossed boundary lines but I was in no place to play mediator with the dogs. I'd let them run around until they were exhausted, until their voices were too hoarse to make any sound.

I now was racing. I didn't want to go home but for some reason my body was heading in that direction. What if Raleigh had spoken to the others? Had spoken to Alice? But it didn't seem like him to play games. Either way, the sight of Rosalie and Esme standing on the front porch of the place I called home was a sign of great relief. There was no way of hiding my presence as I came shooting out of the woods like a missile. There was a look of worry spread out across Esme's face and Rosalie stood with her arms crossed against her chest. I felt shamed as I approached my family and I turned my face from Esme so that her soft, loving gaze couldn't find my eyes. Her emotions didn't belong to anger or disappointment as I closed the space between her and myself. Relief and happiness were all that I could sense. Esme looked petite in my height as her hands came to grasp my face, a motherly touch that never failed to soothe me.

"Jasper," Esme cooed, "I was worried you wouldn't return."

"You were worried for me? Why…aren't you angry?" I questioned.

"Would you like me to be angry?"

"Of course not. I…that's not…I only meant-"

"I know what you meant," Esme asserted softly. "Your own shame is enough for the both of us. Forgive yourself, Jasper. It was a mistake and we've all made them."

"Not this kind of mistake. Not to this degree. It wasn't just some random person, Esme. I could have-"

"_Could_ have," Rosalie emphasized, cutting into my words but staring off in a direction that was not mine. She took a long moment before turning to me to speak, her deep gold eyes catching the porch light like amber wheat basking in the sun. "But you didn't. Emmett didn't let you and neither did Carlisle or Edward. It's the point of having this family, Jasper. There's no reason to live together if we aren't going to protect one another. It's not as though we don't know the risks of sharing each other's company."

The words sounded strange coming from Rosalie. Her sentences were hard and cold in tone but the actual words meant to comfort. It wasn't like her to offer me condolences but for some reason, in this moment, she was doing so. I went to speak but found that no words were readily available. Risks, she had said. They took risks…and one of those risks involved me. My mind flashed back to the dark woods where Raleigh had found me and his words joined Rosalie's and echoed through my head until I couldn't tell the difference. Rosalie's gaze had fallen from mine and she turned her back to the direction she was originally staring. It took me only moments to realize that some members of the household were conspicuously absent.

"Where are the others?" I asked suddenly.

"Edward, Carlisle, and Alice have gone to the border," Esme answered. "There's been some kind of disruption…the wolves were raging about a rouge vampire and Carlisle went to soothe the situation. Emmett is inside with Bella."

My body stiffened. I had hoped to keep Raleigh's little visit a secret but with Edward's mind and Alice's foresight, plus the multitude of adolescence wolves, I realized my plan had been foolish. The howling had seized and Raleigh's scent was something of the past. Esme, Rosalie, and I stood silent in the porch light as clouds encircled and smothered the moon. Carlisle would return soon but it was Edward's arrival I dreaded. What words could I offer to him? I'm sorry I almost pulverized the love of your life? As though Esme suddenly had obtained Edward's power, she placed her hand on my shoulder and spoke.

"Edward does not harbor any ill feelings towards you," Esme reassured. I could only nod my head with a feigned smile in response to Esme's words.

Edward was not my only problem at the moment. Like the thunderstorm I could smell fast approaching, my mind rumbled and flashed as thousands of thoughts collided with one another. Everyone was taking a risk. I was a risk. Hours ago I had been so certain of my place, my choice, as I had been for the entirety of my time spent in Forks with my family. Was this not where I belonged? Every moment was a war between who I wanted to be and who I had been for all those long years I had spent with Maria.

I could hear Emmett rushing down the stairs as he made an appearance in the doorway. Carlisle and Edward were returning from the woods and when Alice trailed in from the behind she raced to my side almost immediately upon seeing my face. Voices all seemed to collide and fill the air as my family was reunited with one another. With my fingers entwined with Alice's and the warm greetings of adopted parents and siblings, I should have felt completely home.

But the tiniest of strings, an invisible tugging at my heart, was somehow pulling me away…away from the hemlocks and cliffs and snows of the north to the deep, hot plains of the old Texas south.


	2. Decisions

Chapter Two: Decisions

**Jasper**

Colors and pictures moved hurriedly across the television screen, all heads turned to watch the strawberry blonde newscaster inform the general public about the weather but no one was really watching. Rosalie was staring past the television and into nothingness and Carlisle seemed to also have some sort of glazed over look. Where their thoughts were, I could only imagine. Emmett hit the power button as soon as Edward walked through the door. He brought the scent of Bella with him but she was clearly absent. After the whole "Bella almost dying" ordeal, Edward had decided it was best to take Bella home. His eyes immediately fell upon mine.

Russian lullabies I had learned from a superior in the military when I was eighteen. The ancient Greek alphabet but backwards. Multiplication tables towering into the tens of thousands that I had to focus so intently on I thought my mind would explode. Anything. Any number of things I could come up with to occupy my mind. After years of living with Edward, I knew how to keep him out of my head. It seemed hours before Edward shifted his gaze from mine and when he did he was also prepared to break the silence.

"I'm leaving," Edward announced.

"Alright," Carlisle responded, "where are you going?"

"I haven't…properly thought it through. But, I know it's the right decision."

Esme stood up suddenly from her seat beside Emmett. "You mean you're _leaving _leaving?" She asked rather frantically.

"Yes," Edward answered soundly, "I plan not to return for some time."

"What's the point of that?" Emmett asked.

"That's a stupid decision, Edward," Rosalie snapped.

"I can't protect her," Edward's voice cracked. "I can never guarantee that Bella will be fully safe when in the presence of our family. I could tell her to stay away but…" Edward broke his words suddenly as invisible tears were chocked back. "But she wouldn't. I am the one who has to stay away. If I don't walk away from her now, I may permanently damage the life she could lead. She could be killed. And that is not what I want for her."

"There is another option-" Alice began.

"I'm not changing her," Edward shot back assertively. He was sure, so sure. No one would be changing his mind. That had always been his decision.

"It's settled then," Carlisle said as he stood up. A room of confused expressions greeted Carlisle's response. "We're leaving Forks."

"I didn't say we," Edward corrected.

"No, but I did," Carlisle said.

"Carlisle-"

"I've already made my decision," Carlisle responded firmly.

"I'm bored of Forks, anyway," Emmett chimed in. "I'm more of a Canary Islands kind of guy myself."

"The Canary Islands get over 300 days of sunshine a year, Emmett. It would never work," Rosalie said with a roll of her eyes.

"Well fine then. You can move to the Himalayas. I'll enjoy the sunshine all by myself."

"Neither of you are moving anywhere," Edward spoke over the bickering of the family. Carlisle closed the gap between himself and Edward and placed a comforting hand on Edward's shoulder.

"You are my son, Edward. We are family. In some way, we have all saved one another's lives…and we owe it to each other to stay together. Bella means everything to you and you mean everything to us. You do what you have to and we will follow. "

Carlisle's words effectively silenced the room. Edward looked unconvinced but he knew the argument was futile. He couldn't deny Carlisle, the man who had given him a second life. I stood silent as though I were a ghost lingering with the living and unable to interact. For whatever reason, whether it was out of love or out of the need to spare me from embarrassment, my name was omitted from the conversation. Edward should have said that _Jasper_ was a danger to Bella, that it was _me _who he couldn't protect Bella against. But he had blamed himself and our family.; everyone but me. Edward was prepared to give up the love of his life to protect her…from me. I was forcing my family to sacrifice their current lives. Was I really happy? Was this really what I wanted?

Between occupying my mind with war songs, ancient languages, and physics problems I was making a decision. Edward was correct; no one was leaving... except for myself. I would leave and I would leave alone.

X X X

Rain pattered softly against the stained glass window of my bedroom. The sky was that of early morning but the clouds smothered any light. The silvery moon was hidden and the horizon was a muddy orange from the lights that were always awake in the neighboring cities. I shoved random clothing items into a leather bag that Alice had bought me for Christmas. Downstairs, Carlisle and Edward were conversing as Rosalie and Esme stood quiet. Emmett was on "unwanted vampire and angry wolf" patrol and Alice was headed my way. I knew that an attempt to sneak past Alice would fail and I didn't have it in my heart to leave her with silence anyway. I could hear her footsteps make their way up the stairs even though Alice stepped with the lightness of air. When her petite figure stopped at my door that was ajar, I turned my head to greet the woman I had spent the best years of my life with. She had a satchel around her left shoulder and a bag that was clearly stuffed with clothing hanging from her right hand.

"When are we leaving?" She asked me as though we had planned a vacation together and we were running far away into paradise. She knew. She always knew. I stood still as death itself and all I could utter was her name.

"Alice-"

"I'm coming with you, Jasper. I don't know where you are going or what you are planning to do but we are going together."

I didn't know what I was planning to do either. In fact, I didn't even know why I was leaving. But I had to go. It was like something had latched on to the very edge of my soul and was pulling me, moment by moment, to go. I wished in that moment that Alice could read minds like Edward. Words would never satisfy the reason for why I was leaving. If only Alice could flip through the pages of my heart and head and understand something that I currently could not.

"I'm going alone. You can't come with me, Alice." Her face grew confused as I spoke my words. She shook her head in disagreement.

"But we've always done things together. Whatever this is…it's no different."

"It is different," I corrected firmly. "Whatever this is, it's different. We've always trusted each other and now, more than ever, I need you trust me. I have to go alone."

What was I doing? Why was I pushing her away? I felt like someone else was speaking for me, that it wasn't me but a monster. She was right and I was wrong.

"But…" Alice dropped the bag to her side and her body posture sunk as she struggled to understand what I was doing. "But that's not how it's supposed to be. That day in the diner was the last time either of us ever had to be alone again. It's why I found you."

Her words were breaking my heart but the invisible force pulled harder. My decision had already been made despite the fact that it was not my choice.

"You're not coming," I repeated.

"Why is that _your_ decision?"

"I'm sorry," I whispered, "I am. I don't know why I'm doing this but…but I've already made a decision. It's what best for the family anyway-"

"The _family_?" Alice interrupted me, her voice cracking with the tone she had taken. "You know as well as I do that this isn't about our family. What's most important to our family is staying together. No, this is about you, Jasper." The pace of her sentences quickened as she spoke but I knew the anger in her voice was actually a feeling of betrayal and pain.

"I should be the one to leave, not the whole family. Not you. And I will be back; you _know_ that I will be back. Maybe this is for me but if you love me the way that I know you do, Alice, then you'll let me go." I had hit her where I knew it would hurt. I had questioned her love for me, a love that I would never and still did not truly question. I wanted to tell her some truth that I wasn't quite sure of and explain to her all the details of what was pulling me away. But I didn't know and I was angry I wanted to move. I hoped she could read through me as though I were transparent and that she'd let me go knowing that somewhere deep within my heart all I truly wanted was her. I wasn't sure whether she was convinced or whether she somehow knew about the mystery that was dragging me into the dark but Alice gave me the saddest nod in the entire world. I approached her and she stood her ground as I slid my hand to her cheek and kissed her gently. Alice stood unmoving, her hands dead at her side and her eyes staring off into nothingness. The petite vampire who stood in my arms seemed nothing but a hollow shell. The hurt that I had caused would stay with Alice like a shadow that followed its owner in the sun. I wouldn't know how to fix it, if it was even fixable.

The large window at the back of the room howled like a pack of wolves as wind found its way through the cracks in the pane. I let my hand fall from Alice's face as I turned from her and made my way to the window.

"This is where you will always belong, Jasper," Alice whispered as I slung the leather bag around my shoulder and jumped from the window and into the rain.

The engine of my green SUV roared to life like a wild beast as I jammed my keys into the ignition and thrust the car into reverse. My mind was blank and for once I thought I remembered what it was like to sleep. My hands and feet knew where I was going and somehow a map of my destination was clearly set in front of me. The road was dark and long when I shifted into drive and soon the heavy rain that pelted my window shield would become the soft, hot sands of the dry southern deserts.

X X X

_**Notes: Short chapter! Thanks to those of you who reviewed. It's always appreciated. More to come.**_


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